How to NOT get your deposit back

I've grown up hearing about rentals. I've cleaned rentals, I've lived in rentals. I currently clean rentals and live in a rental. 

I think I know a thing or two about getting your deposit back. But as I tried to write a list of ways to get your deposit back they just seemed so obvious "Clean it!" Kept coming up. So instead of writing a how to I'm going to write a how not to. 

Ways not to get your deposit back:

1.Don't clean

-not a thing. This is the sure way to not get your deposit back

2. Put holes in the walls 

-the bigger the better. 

3. Make sure every light bulb is out

-nothing makes a land lord happier than all the lights out

4. Rub food all over the cabinets

-better yet leave some food in the fridge 

5. Try to fix things yourself 

-the more duct tape the better your chances

6.Don't pay rent for the month

7.Whatever you do, don't report the plumbing leak

-landlords love surprises like that

8. Avoid communication

-communicating problems could get your  deposit back so be sure to NOT talk to maintaince or manager or anyone 

9. Leave "treasures" for future renters 

- taking that couch to the Di when someone could get it for free??! 

10. Do all the above things and then demand your deposit back 

Ok but seriously. If you really want to get your deposit back. 

1.Ask your manager if there is a checklist for things they expect done before you move out. Solves a lot of problems then you both are on the same page. Be there for the walk through if at all possible. I ALWAYS get my deposit back that way we can talk about things ... "Oh I didn't know I needed to buy new drip pans..." Problem adverted. 

2. Talk about damages to apartment as they come along. 

Things go a lot smoother when problems aren't piled up. People are much happier to fix things when you are paying rent. 

3. Ummm pay rent 

Seriously someone asked me if they cleaned the place would they get their deposit back even though they didn't pay rent. 

4. Take your crap to the landfill or the DI. No one wants to haul it off for you except for a price. 

5. Ask if there is anything you can do if there are damages. Some things they might let you fix some things they won't. TALK TO THEM!!

6. Clean as best you can. They aren't expecting perfection but trust me I can tell the difference in efforts. 

That's it! Does this sound about right? I should make a list of what to clean for an almost guaranteed way