Since I have opened up about having depression and anxiety I have had a lot of messages asking me about how I fight it. I currently do not take any medication and I haven't seen a doctor for it. Its such a personal choice and a sensitive matter I hope you understand what works or doesn't work for me may not ring true for you. Depression runs in my family. I've taken the quiz at the doctors to see if you have depression and of course according to medical records I'm fine. Thats because I know what answers to say. I lied to my doctor about post-pardom it was easy to me. I was lying to myself about my feelings it was easy to lie to the doctor. Someday I hope to be able to afford going to a therapist. For now my husband, family, and friends serve in that capacity. I had a tender mercy of getting to go to a church activity and listen to a professional counselor speak about loving ourselves and letting go of negative thoughts. Just that one activity has helped me so much. I can't even imagine what more could do. Maybe in a few years. Again remember this is what works for ME, and I do recommend talking to a doctor/therapist if you can.
1. Being creative- this doesn't come naturally to me. I used to sew, now it stresses me out. I recently have discovered I love to paint. Painting doesn't have to be perfect, and it can be whatever I want it to be. I recently read that patients from a mental hospital wished so deperately that they had a painting room. I thought that was interesting people with mental health issues share this common interest. Try PAINTING.
2. Having a clean house- sounds easy enough... unless you have kids. To achieve this the best that I can with my two cuties has been to get rid of stuff. If you are interested in learning where to start visit becoming minimalist.com If you think minimalism is too extreme for you I recommend Unstuff Your Life! by Andrew J. Mellen click here to see his book. I borrowed that book from the library. Not only does he help you cut clutter he helps you organize it. Many times I felt like I was having actual conversations with him while reading the book. Only of course to realize I was talking to a book in my backyard.
3. Get outdoors. For me this is many things and usually my go to especially when a clean house is not happening. Things that destress me and make me happy are: hiking, running, snowboarding, boating, kayaking, racquetball, tennis, soccer, anything athletic, also.... tanning. Now before you go all skin cancer crazy on me, I lay out in my backyard for about 1/2 an hour. Yes I realize skin cancer is a risk. Having depression and anxiety also makes me suicidal. Its lose lose. I love laying out in the sun. If you find something else that makes you very happy and you can avoid skin cancer by all means go ahead. For me laying out in the sun get a tan makes me happy.
Even in the snow I was outside :)
5. Rest. Take a day to rest. For awhile I thought Sunday was my day off. I go to church, try to keep the sabbath day holy. I would always joke that this day was anything but rest. I've come to learn that resting from earthly cares is different than resting. On Thursdays I rest. If I don't feel like exercising I don't. If I want to lay in the tub while the kids nap I do it. I skip chores, I shut off my phone for hours sometimes almost all day. I learned this from another blogger who has 4 boys. She also said she writes thank you notes to people, or goes and does service, like play the piano at an assisted living home. Some Thursdays you need to pamper yourself and sometimes you have to go and forget yourself. Your day doesn't have to be Thursday and it might not even be all day. But set a time in your calendar to have time to yourself. I highly recommend shutting your phone off because that always seems the time when my phone is going off like crazy. Also lack of sleep is a huge problem setting off all my triggers. Get enough sleep as much as you can. If you have a baby and other kids don't be afraid to ask a friend to take your kids for a little bit so you can sleep. Trust me you'll be glad you did.
6. Do Service. It is easy to stay depressed and stressed out when you are only worried about yourself. Don't do anything crazy or big at first. Start small. Make the bed for your loved one, write a nice note, sing a song, say a prayer. I always thought it would be so neat to go and help in another country. While that is still a dream of mine, I realized that I can do so much here and now. It may not seem like you are making a big impact but a kind note goes a long way.
7. Give something away. There is nothing that brings joy to the heart than watching someone else joy over something you gave them. I cried tears of joy once because someone dropped brand new clothes off at our house that we couldn't afford for our toddler. They didn't get to see my face but I hope they know how much happiness it brought us. Even anonymous gifts can make you happy. I feel happiness every time I donate a box to the thrift store. Less for me to clean (win), they have things to sell (win), someone else can use the item (win)!
8. Routine. This is a hard one because I am young but I have quickly learned life is anything BUT routine. My mother suggested this to me as far as routine; make a list of things you need to do, make a list of things you would like to do, you don't have to have a set time but even when everything feels out of control this has helped. I try to have a semi schedule. For instance at our house I know we are going to have meals throughout the day I try to have them all generally at the same time each day, naps are about at the same time. I run errands in the afternoon now I do prefer morning but my husband now works swing shift (2:00pm-10:00pm) so I'd rather run errands while he isn't home unless I want to go alone which now I can do in the morning. When days aren't routine I have to tell myself routinely I need some NOT mundane everyday type of day. Sounds silly but if I feel like I "scheduled it" I handle it better. doesn't mean I don't ever do sporadic. Trust me if you ask anyone I hang out with they will probably tell you I planned a get together the day before or the day of. HA it works for now.
9. Eat healthy. Not what you wanted to hear I know. Changing my diet has been huge. There are so many food choices and sometimes its hard to know what is healthy and then you have to meal plan. For me I am on a green smoothie girl diet. I bought her books and blender. She has meal plans, shopping lists, tips and tricks on how to save money. Check out her website here I could rave about this forever and could spend a whole blog on how much I love green smoothie girl so for now I'll leave it at that. Feel free to email me if you have any questions about what I eat.
10. Be nice to yourself. Its easy to feel like you are a horrible person for having depression/anxiety. I listened to Josie Thompson speak one of the key things I learned from her is that you can still be full of light as you fight this darkness. She is a much better speaker than me and you should totally check out her blog here. I've learned that its ok to have panic attacks, depressive episodes, crying/screaming sessions. You aren't a bad person. God hasn't forgotten you. I wrote out an I am motto for me it goes something like this
I am happy
I am kind
I am beautiful
I am grateful
I am loved
I am a good mom
I am a daughter of God
I am excited about today
I hung it in my bathroom so I could see it. Negative talk is not helpful. I can feel my chemical imbalance go all nuts when I add things to my mind like... i hate my nose, i have no friends, I'm a horrible mother, blah blah blah... STOP. For every mean thing you say to yourself say 3 nice things. Seriously do it. It's life changing.
I hope this helps. I am in no way paid by any of these awesome people I have talked about that have helped. My sole purpose in posting this is to help someone who suffers with anxiety/depression. If you have other tips please post them! Remember I'm not perfect at any of the above suggestions. I just noticed that these help me. Also if you have any other questions or want to know more details about anything please contact me.
my email is alysehassellATyahooDOTcom
Oh and bonus one... if you couldn't already tell I LOOOOOVEE reading, blogs, articles, books, newspapers. Whatever reading takes me a different state of mind. I need it.
Thank you for sharing all these tips Alyse!! So glad you're fighting this good fight, keep winning. Your little family needs you and YOU need you....sending love and good wishes your way!
ReplyDeleteThanks Kasandra! It really has been going much better now that I've learned to face it head on. I want to be the mom, wife, sister, daughter, friend that I need to be. Thank you so much for your encouraging words. It means so much to me.
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