"Life ain't always beautiful but its a beautiful life"

"Mama I'm the prince dancing with the princess Elsa"

Our castle has been readjusting the past couple of weeks.

Adam has been working nights and I've been in a dark place in my soul.

Adam has been holding everything together and I've just been present. 

It's not something I choose or wanted it just happened.

As Josie Thompson calls it.. I had a 'floor day' or two or three...

 floor day= not being being able to get up off the floor

It's not that my life isn't wonderful and its not that I don't know that. 

In fact part of my depressive moments are knowing my life is so good so why am I sad?

With my routine completely off I broke down. 

While my loving husband works, does dishes, gets food ready for everyone and my children ask "Is mama feeling better?" 

My sweet babies worry about me. 

I couldn't have asked for a better family or life. 

During one of my 'floor days' I managed to get on the computer and buy a gym membership.

Exercise literally has saved my life. 

It keeps me sane and keeps me going. 

But I wouldn't have even thought to buy one if I hadn't felt a feeling in my soul that it would solve 

many of my problems. 

My husband also wouldn't be the way he is without help.

Somehow even in my darkest moments my most horrible thoughts 

God is still there. 

He has reminded me time and time again to notice His tender mercies. 

The above picture is one of those tender mercies. 

When I am doing my part (reading my scriptures, praying, serving, etc.)

my kids have moments like this. They play together, they giggle, and they have fun.

You can call it random or whatever you will but I know its very real.

Of course they fight everyday, but somehow its lesser. The fighting, crying, screaming, hitting, throwing doesn't last as long. 

It may not seem like a miracle but to this tired mother this is 

a great miracle. 

Another tender mercy is that

my children who normally take 1/2 an hour to get ready to go anywhere 

are ready in minutes to head to the gym. 

And they LOVE being there. 

It's so much nicer than trying to workout at home.

Our routine is still evolving but what we have going on right now is wonderful. 

I'm glad I have these tender mercies even with my trials.